1 month!

Sam has been home for almost 3 weeks. He is doing very well & we are adjusting, although I will say it seems like he has been home much longer than that!!  I took him to the pediatrician on Sept 18 and he weighed 5lbs 12 oz. He had gained a little more than an ounce a day since he left the NICU. We had our one month appointment today and he weighed 7lbs 3 oz!!  He just blazed right on through the 6 lb range. That means he gained 23 ounces in 14 days!!  I couldn't believe it. I have been wondering when I could consider him a newborn as opposed to a preemie and today was the day. He is the size of an average newborn and is very healthy!!  Here are a few pictures...  (The last pic is horrible of the big boys, but at least you can see Sam's little face!)

He's home!!

Sam came home on Thursday!!  I can't believe it's been 5 days now. He is doing wonderful!  He has learned well to sleep between feedings and is growing. We have our first check up with our pediatrician tomorrow. The boys have loved Sam being with us. It's unbelievable that we are finally all 5 under the same roof!  We are so thankful!!  I can't thank you enough for being a part of this journey with us. I really can't tell you how helpful the support of our community, friends & family have been. We are forever grateful for you & are so thankful how God has chosen to bring the desire of another child into our family to life!!

Very soon

So our little Sam has turned a corner with the bottle! He has taken one each feeding for more than 24 hours. They began preparing us today that he will likely be home soon!  He had to gain weight for 3 consecutive days and not have any difficulty breathing or maintaining his body temp for 7 days. He has done those, so now he just needs to continue on the bottle (no feeing tube) for another couple days. Hoping he'll be home on thursday. I tried to nurse him today & the lactation consultant said he did well for trial #1... We'll keep working on it. Obviously, the main goal is for him to eat plenty, so until then, I'll keep pumping (oh joy... But well worth it)!

bottle

Sam is taking a bottle occassionally, but still not consistent. I guess I originally thought once he took a bottle one time, that he would "get it" and be good to go. So I thought he would be home with us this weekend. Apparently, that isn't how it works. It still just takes so much energy for him to take a bottle. I have been going to see him at least once a day and sometimes I'm able to give him a bottle. I typically change his diaper, take his temperature and hold him now each time I go. He pooped on me today when I changed his diaper... a first for me in all the diapers I've changed over the years!  I have enjoyed being with him over this past week, but now my heart is aching for him to be with us!  Last night, he was the most alert I'd ever seen him. Here is a picture of him in my lap... Please pray he will come home soon! 

 

Sam has graduated to a crib in the NICU. That means that he can breathe well on his own and also regulate his body temperature well.  He still has his feeding tube. The nurse told me that sometimes their ability to suck, swallow & breathe simultaneously can happen overnight. He has taken a bottle a little bit and has shown signs of wanting to suck, but at the moment it takes more effort than it should and therefore is too much energy for him to expend on eating right now. It sounds like they will give me a couple days notice when they think he will be ready to come home. Once he starts taking a bottle, they will keep him a day or two to make sure he is good to go. I am trying to fit in all that I can... errands, haircut, a few last minute shopping trips, etc before he comes home. We joke that we are in the calm before the storm. I am feeling much better physically and am able to do a little bit, but I know my time will be more limited once he arrives home. But, oh, we can't wait!!  From the first times we really began praying for another child until now has been about 3 years, so we are ready to finally be a family of 5!! Thank you for being a part of this journey with us.

progress

Yesterday we grabbed donuts at Krispy Kreme so conveniently located next to Baptist and headed on over to hang with Sam for a little while. I wanted to just sit with him and I'm so glad I did!  The neonatalogist stopped in to check on him. She ordered his oxygen tube to come out and the jaundice lights to be removed!!  He also needed a diaper change, so I was able to do it for the first time!  After the boys finished their donuts in the waiting room, they came in for a visit too. They don't like us holding and talking to him too much because rest is still vital for his development, but while he was being checked we were able to talk to him. For the first time we saw him open his eyes... He opened them when he heard our voices. It captured my heart and I was on cloud 9 all day! 
Another big milestone was that he took a little bit of milk from a bottle... not a full feeding, but he is progressing. Our little guy is fighting to get stronger. The doctor said he wouldn't come home before 34 weeks (Saturday, Sept 8), so that is what we are praying for. Here is a picture from today...

We can't really tell who he looks like. He doesn't seem to look like Jacob or Luke to us. I do think he has some good lips though :) As far as the surgery goes, I'm healing well. I'm getting good rest to get ready for the little man to come home!

I'm home

I was discharged on Thursday afternoon. I had been in the hospital for 7 weeks and 1 day and was so ready to be home with Michael and the big boys. I didn't anticipate how hard it would be for me to leave Sam in the NICU. He is so well cared for there and progressing as they would expect, but the reality of him not being with us is SO incredibly hard for me. I went again to visit him today and it wasn't any easier to leave. I am praying he will be home in a week.  The nurses said it is possible he could be be taken off the breathing tube on Saturday. For being premmature, he has done very well with that since his first hours of birth. As I was leaving Thursday, the nurse asked if I wanted to hold him... tubes & all and of course, I couldn't contain the tears. I wasn't expecting it and it was so special. I haven't seen him yet with his eyes open. He has been so sleepy which is what they want because it is so important in his development. After all, he is supposed to be sleeping in my tummy!  He did develop jaundice so he is under lights. When he was first born, he was eating 5cc of milk. He has a feeding tube in his mouth that goes directly to his tummy for him to digest. As of today, he was taking 25cc of milk. I'd say that is some serious progress!!  Here are some recent pictures...

August 27

I didn't feel well on Monday. I was more lethargic, lost my appetite & felt like my belly was about to pop. I laid down most of the afternoon and a nurse came to check on me about 615 before her shift was over. She recommended we monitor my contractions as precaution & they picked up a little more. They called dr. Kang and she ordered an IV for me to get fluids. Before they got that going & only within minutes, my contractions were coming more frequently. Shortly after that, there were about 6 doctors & nurses in my room. They said call Michael cause you're having the baby! Well michael was bathing the boys and didnt hear the phone until after 7 attempts to call him & they relinquished my phone. Michael rushed to the hospital and was jogging down the hallway to get to the OR and made it just in time. I was very nervous about the surgery, but excited that we knew our son was healthy enough to be born & that most of the unknowns would finally be known!  We decided to do general anesthesia which was a better option in case I needed a blood transfusion or a hysterectomy. Although my uterus was in bad shape, neither was needed and Samuel Henry was born at 8:26 pm without a glitch weighing in at an even 5 lbs! He is doing quite well in the NICU, but will probably need another week or two before he can be home with us. I am doing well too... Just the normal pain from recovering from a surgery, but each day is significantly better. It looks like Michael & I will come home late afternoon on Thursday. 

 After some debate on his name, we agreed on Samuel a few months ago and once we looked it up in the Bible, we knew this had to be his name. 

1 Samuel 1:20 "So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel,^[a] saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.”
²⁷ I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. ²⁸ So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.”


Our hearts have truly been on a journey with much prayer in getting this little guy here. We are overwhelmed with thankfulness that we are now a family of 5 and appreacite all those who prayed and supported us with encouragement, food and childcare. We would have not made it through (with as much sanity) without you! 

My contractions continue to pick up a little bit, but they are being controlled with oral medicine, rest & lots of water. It is normal for contractions to increase at this time in any pregnancy, but they put a strain on my weak spot for me. Right now, everything is still holding together. The doctors & ultrasound technicians have all told me this week, that are thrilled that I've made it this far & maybe even a little surprised. My OB is not picking a planned date to deliver the baby, but the longest should be around 34-35 weeks which is only a couple weeks away. This is mainly because my uterus will grown even more significantly at that point & my contractions will continue to increase & intensify. Taking the baby then will decrease the chances of an emergency situation. The baby will get weighed again next Friday, but should be around 4.5 lbs. If we make it to 34/35 weeks, there is a chance he will not be in the NICU & would be able to go him with us. Now, that would be a miracle! There are three things that have to happen for him to be able to go home... 1) He can breathe well on his own, 2) he can hold his body temp & 3) he can eat without a feeding tube. Babies ability to suck, swallow & breathe simultaneously develops around the 34 week mark. Even if he were born sooner, there is a good chance he will not have to stay long at Baptist. We are looking forward to hs arrival!

My big boys seem to be doing well. Michael is still running the household very well and Jacob has started 1st grade! The routine was something he needed & is loving his new class. Luke starts his last year of preschool Monday. They now call Baptist "my (mommy's) hospital"

My days have looked pretty much the same these past weeks... Tv, stay in bed, visit with friends, pay bills, coordinate my kids' schedule and read books. Sounds pretty decent, but I tell you that after over 5 weeks, it's very old! My energy level is fading because of the rest. I don't have much responsibility, but I also have no freedom... Haven't ridden in a car since July 11 and I can't even go outside without someone pushing me in a wheel chair. Next time, I'll take these breaks in smaller doses, please!
I am monitored for contractions & heart rate twice a day & there was a little more activity with that today. They raised my dosage of medicine to keep those at a minimum, so the doctors & nurses are watching me a little more closely. I go through phases of accepting the idea that I'll be in the hospital for 3 more weeks, then today happens & I wonder if I'll make it through the weekend. I take comfort in reminding myself that God knows our baby boy's birthday... That HE cares for our son (and for me) more than we do. In terms of medicine I think the doctors are surprised, although glad, that I've made it this far. We are not surprised & feel like it is only because of God that we are expecting for everyone to be healthy! Keep praying!

I made is past August 10!  My next goal is Aug 22. These are just personal goals & there is really nothing within my control that I can do to get there (except rest, I guess), but they help get me through my bed rest. Baby boy "passes" his ultrasound test every time with flying colors- checking amniotic fluid, his diaphragm, lungs and heart. I was anxious to see how much they estimated him to weigh on Friday. We were hoping it was atleast 3lbs which is the average for 30 weeks. They take certain measurements to estimate his weight and it was 3lbs 10oz! I cried of course. I was so unbelievably thankful. Michael said it is tough with me being in the hospital, but this is what we prayed for! God is continuing to show Himself to us throughout this process. we are finally getting to a point where baby boy should be healthy upon delivery (just a little bit "mini") and I am getting so excited to meet him!

I haven't had any additional contraction scares. I am starting to feel really relieved that I have made it so close to 30 weeks!! The doctors are very optimistic about baby's health now that I've made it this far. I love all these analogies the doctors give me. Today the head high risk doctor said " you've got the silver medal by making it to 30 weeks. 32 will be the gold and anything on top of that, will just be icing on the cake!"

The upside of all this is the great visits I've had with family & friends. My cousin Laura even gave me a pedicure!! Here are pics of some of the sweet visitors that I've had...

My mom, Aunt Debbie, Aunt Gloria & cousin Kim

 Allison, Rachel, me, Misty & Lindsey

Jacob and yes, Lucy!!

Kristen & Sarah (who gets the award for travelling the farthest... from Peru!!)



Michael, me, Karen & Matt (who chose to spend his birthday dinner at the hopsital :)

My contractions settled down and the doctors are contiuing to give me a small dose of medicine each day as precaution to prevent more contractions. I have felt good these past couple of days and doctors are going to get me as far along as they can. I made it to August!  That was a personal first goal of mine. My next goal is to make it next Friday (around 30 weeks).

I am starting to get tired of being at Baptist. I know I will be here longer and it will totally be worth it, but part of my heart really wants to be at home with Michael and the boys. Jacob told me the other night that he wished I could be home to cook him dinner. And of course, I wish that too!  I think of everyone, this has been a little harder on Jacob. He's my homebody. He is getting a little tired of going to camps and would be content to be home to draw, write & play legos!!

Thanks you for praying & reaching out!

And that, my friends, is why I'm here!

I woke up at 3:15am today with cramping, It wasn't intense, but it was kept me up so I decided after a few minutes to call the nurse. I was having at times 3 contractions per 10 minutes (probably more like braxton hicks), but with my situation any of them that are consistent, are not my friend. They told me that if they didnt calm, then they would deliver the baby today. They gave me procardia & a bag of fluids which calmed the activity down. I've seen the doctor today who said I would continue with procadia as precaution for a little while. It could have been a side effect of magnesium yesterday, mild dehydration or beginning or pre-term labor. Good news is that I am not having contractions now.
I'm not sure how I would have handled the situation if I'd been home, so I was thankful to have immediate access to nurses & doctors!

NICU

I had an IV of magnesium today. I was so nervouse about it!  I have just been "living" here in Baptist and not needing any extra shots or poking or medicines, so the thought of it made me a little anxious. I had talked to my high risk doctor over the weekend and discussed it being a good time to get the IV and one more steroid shot for baby's lungs. The meds are most effective for a 2 week period and she felt like if we get 2 more weeks of baby staying in utero, that we will be out of the zone of baby boy needing as much extra help. They have said that making it to 28+ weeks is a milestone (I'm approaching 29). That 30 would be better, 32 would be great & by getting to 34 they would expect the health of a full term baby (minus a few pounds)! I feel comfort that we took a proactive step. I began to fear a change occuring and not being able to get the medicine he needs quickly enough (24 hours to take effect). My biggest risk at this point is contractions. I don't have a history of pre-term labor, so we are praying this pregnancy will prove to be the same. The doctors tell me the uterus has an amazing ability to hold even when it's very thin.
I also visited the NICU for the first time this weekend. I wanted to prepare myself as much as I could for what to expect when baby boy is born. Baptist's NICU is amazing!!  Now, I don't have much to compare it to, but the technology in there is unprecidented. The nurse to baby ratio is 2:1 and sometimes 1:1. Although it was hard to imagine our little boy being 3 or 4 lbs with a feeding tube, the success and growth of the babies is trememendous and the staff encouraged me that it won't take too long for little boy Purifoy to get to a size that is comparable to full term babies at his same age. It was hardest for me to swallow that, depending on what gestation he is born, I may not be able to hold him for a while. Touch raises their heart rate and therefore makes their heart and lungs work harder when technically, as a preterm baby, they are not ready to be touched. I'm eating up all this information. It is so intriguing to me. Thank you again for all your prayer and support. I couldn't make it as sanely as I have without you!!

Seeing these make it much easier on me to be at the hospital...

VBS

Lego Camp (Camp Brick)

Sweet CeCes with friends



Bowling with on of our awesome babysitters, Mary Ellen

Things are pretty uneventful here. It's been 2 weeks and surprsingly, it is going by faster than I thought. A high risk doctor and general OB come see me everyday. Our conversation is very short as I have literally no other symptoms of anything which is great!!  It does make it harder at times to swallow the fact that I'm here. I feel like I have a one bedroom apartment in the hopsital.
My ultrasounds are uneventful too which is what we want. They did measure baby boy on Monday and he is estimated to be about 2.5lbs. I actually feel my best when I leave the ultrasound because I know for a fact that nothing is going on without my knowing.
What I miss most is being at home with Michael and the boys. I miss giving Michael a hug when he gets home from work. I miss reading the boys books and making them lunch. I also miss cooking. I don't miss cleaning :0 I"m sure Michael misses that!  They've told me the longest I will go is to 34 weeks, so at most, I have 6 more weeks to go! 

1 day = 3 days

I've been at Baptist 10 days. I learned yesterday that every day baby boy stays in my tummy, it's 3 less days in the NICU. So far, we're 30 down :0 I had an ultrasound this morning and he is weighing in at about 2lbs 6 oz. He continues to look healthy. One doctor talked to me about magnesium and how if given even a dose of 30 minutes, can decrease a pre-term baby's risk of cerebal palsey by 50%. I don't think it is likely that he would be born with that at this point, but it is a slight risk and something we are praying for. I told the doctor I love to understand all the information and he's been great with giving me as much info as he can. He also said there are a couple things they would do if we see that delivery is impending like a booster shot of lung steroid and the magnesium). I asked him how we would know if delivery was impending and he gave me a couple potential indicators... nothing is routine or concrete with this type of situation. So, I'm also praying that there would be indicators if needed. It's difficult for me to swallow that this baby could be born any day or could be born in 7 weeks. And of course, I have plenty of time to think about it :)  I am occupying my time fairly well though with visiors and knitting!!

This is a picture of little guy sucking his thumb and the tiny hat I made him at 4am yesterday to keep him warm in the NICU

Some of my favorite visitors!

1 week down... I can't believe it! Thank you so much for everyone visiting, bringing food, helping with the kids, and calling. All of it helps me get through each day and focus on getting baby boy here! My most recent ultrasound was Monday afternoon. I think the goal of them now is that they would be uneventful... Basically as long as they can see that everything is "holding together" then they will let baby keep growing. It is eventful for me though to see this little boy growing. I saw him yawn & suck his thumb which was precious. My mom was visiting me when they came to get me for the ultrasound. They just fit me in, so I never know when they will come. So, mom went with me. That was was the first time she has seen an ultrasound, so it was really sweet. we did see him using his lungs and his diaphragm again which gives me such comfort. Those are two things that are ideal to see functioning for a pre-term baby. My fear right now is the unknown... But even as I think about it, I do feel peace that no matter what, God has me & this little guy in His hands.

I had an ultrasound this morning. The doctor's goal was to see how healthy the baby was... called the biophysical profile. Main thing was to see his heart and if the diaphragm was beginning to work to show that he has potential to breathe on his own... and it was!!  Another thing that it indicates is that he has enough energy to physically do it. The ultrasound technian said that sometimes you can't see this in an ultrasound until past 30 weeks. I'm at 26, so that is very good news!!  Everyone that has monitored me has said that the baby looks "great."  They didn't try to get a measurement on my scar because they know it is thin and becuase of baby's position, it is not likely to get an accurate reading anyway.  So, in an ultrasound now they are just looking to make sure everything is in tact and that nothing is coming through the scar. I was so glad to have the ultrasound completed and recieve positive news before the weekend! 

The first picture is his face profile with mouth open. She said she could see his tongue too, but I can't tell.
The other is his hand. He literally waves to us almost every ultrasound and we love it!

So I'm up again at 430am! Made it a little longer tonight than last and in general, I'm more comfortable. I think I'll take the nurses up on a sleep aid Friday night. As far as I know I will be getting ultrasound Friday. We may be able to see the lining more clearly or we may see baby boy in the same spot since its only been 2 days since my last ultrasound. Praying to see things more cleary which will give us a little more breathing room. Thank you to everyone who has reached out! I truly love hearing from you & am overwhelmed by those willing to help. My friend Jennie is sending out a meal calendar to those interested in helping that way. I would love a visit from anyone who is up for that too. My boys are pretty well taken care of for July. I had planned ahead since we knew this was a possibility. It looks like August will be a little more tricky with childcare since my babysitters will be going back to school/work & Luke doesn't go back until aug 27. Not sure how far I'll make it, so we are trying to take it one week at a time. Most urgent prayer right now would be that we could make it to a minimum of 30 weeks which is around aug 10 & that I wouldnt end up in an emergency situation (doctors tell me that an emergency isn't likely). Pray for Michael as he is adjusting to all this as well... Adding full time dad to his full time work schedule & juggling being with me. My parents have been a huge help too. I am so thankful for my family and community. You guys make this so much easier on us and we are are truly grateful!!

So here I am... July 11 (about 25/26 weeks). Baby boy's head is head down and right up to my scar on the inside of my uterus and my bladder is right up against it on the outside. They were not able to measure the thinning of my scar as in the past which has been the goal of every ultrasound. My high risk dr was at another office and I had a new ultrasound tech, so I was already a little on edge since I wasn't seeing "my regulars." The intern sends my images to the doctor & Michael and I wait. The practitioner walks in & says I need to be admitted to Baptist. No stopping at home. I lose it. I'm thinking "can't I just stop at home and get my things? Can't I just wait another hour so I can see my kids after VBS?" I was expecting this ultimately, just not so abruptly. I'm also afraid this means baby s coming much sooner than we thought. Michael is awesome... Totally with me every step of the way. I am admitted and my nurse Melissa is awesome! I've seen both high risk and regular OB today and they tell me it is still the goal to get me to 34 weeks. I'm thankful and relieved that it's even a remote possibility. The thought of being in the hospital for 8 weeks is overwhelming. But we want baby boy to get as strong as he can. I got a steroid shot to help his lungs develop a little more quickly. he is already around 2+ pounds and at 25/26 weeks, that is big. I don't typically have big babies so there is only one explanation for that... God! I can definitely say I haven't understood what He is up to, but not once have I doubted that He has been & will continue to be with me every step of the way! After being in bed a couple hours, my back was already hurting. This may be a long visit. I can get up for 1-2 hours at a time, then lay for 2 so that is nice & similar to what I was doing at home the last couple weeks. Just my scenery has changed. To a parking lot to be exact. My room is nice though. I do have dvd & 19" tv! The boys think my hospital "hotel" is awesome because my bed has a speaker on it and moves up & down. They will get to watch movies here with me, so they think that is the greatest. There are other "long timers" here at baptist as they have named my kind. All here for different reasons, but here until the baby comes. I, of course ask, if we can meet & hang out in the halls :) & they say some do. The nurse offered her iPad because my laptop isnt connecting. I've been up almost every hour going to the bathroom. They tell me the more I drink water and the more empty my bladder is, the less contractions I'll have (which ultimately can be a strain on my scar). They say they will leave me alone for the night unless I need them, but I've been up since 3am. I will get ultrasounds 2 times a week and unless im having pain or my scar pulls apart, then baby will stay put. Ive been told my next ultrasound is likely on Friday. I will probably post daily if you want to come to the site for updates. I appreciate you!

The story.... Ever since Luke was born (2007), Michael and I have wanted another baby. I had an issue at Luke's delivery via c-section that might not allow us to have another one (basically it's called a uterine window & after healing would increase my chanes of reoccurrence and potential inability to carry the baby to a healthy term). We weren't ready anytime soon... We had our hands full with two toddler boys! We didnt linger much on it until 2009 we met with doctors & had semi-unclear advice. We pursued other appointments, lots of prayer and looked into adoption for the next two years. In january of 2012, we were ready to make our decision. We went away for a weekend to seek clarity & pray. There is no way to describe what happened that weekend... Except we totally felt God's presence & peace. We decided that week to move forward with having a biological child. February 7, I found out I was pregnant! I was excited, shocked & scared. We meet with my OB and they seem somewhat optimistic saying things like "there are possibe risks, but I don't think they are likely." I was filled with hope. At 13 week ultrasound a different doctor, my new high risk dr, was telling me to prepare for hospital bed rest at 24 weeks. We were deflated, but we planned on it. We found out in May, we were having a another boy! Ultrasounds have been going as planned & things are looking as good as they can. We hit 23, then 24 and for three weeks the was little change in the thinning of my scar. We were hopeful yet again.

I love to try new recipes. Unfortunately, the resto f my family really doesn't! This is one of the best I've tried in a while, so I wanted to share it with you...

Baked Barley Risotto With Butternut Squash

Serves 4 Hands-On Time: 20m
Total Time: 50m
Ingredients
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 small butternut squash (about 11/2 pounds)—peeled, seeded, and cut into 1-inch pieces (about 3 cups)
1 onion, finely chopped
kosher salt and black pepper
1 cup pearl barley
1/2 cup dry white wine
3 cups low-sodium vegetable broth
5 ounces baby spinach
1/2 cup grated Parmesan (2 ounces), plus more for serving
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
Directions
Heat oven to 400° F. Heat the oil in a Dutch oven or large oven-safe saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the squash, onion, ¾ teaspoon salt, and ¼ teaspoon pepper and cook, stirring often, until the onion begins to soften, 4 to 6 minutes.
Add the barley to the vegetables and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add the wine and cook, stirring, until evaporated, about 1 minute. Add the broth and bring to a boil; cover the pot and transfer it to oven. Bake until the barley is tender, 35 to 40 minutes.
Stir in the spinach, Parmesan, and butter. Serve with additional Parmesan.

Merry Christmas!

Our early Christmas gift... Lucy!

oh what fun!

Seeing Santa... Meeting Dasher

playing bingo

my dad's entire side of the family